Are you shy? If you hesitate to speak in public, struggle to express your ideas comfortably, or feel your face change color when all eyes turn to you, psychologist Battler has some advice for you. According to research findings, women, in particular, are becoming increasingly shy each year. If you feel shy while talking to new people or communicating with someone you don’t know, don’t worry; you’re exhibiting normal behavior.
Does Your Face Turn Red?
Especially in a new work environment, if you’re asked to stand up and introduce yourself and you find your voice trembling, your face reddening, and you can’t muster the courage to make eye contact, yes, you’re shy. However, it’s important to remember that not everyone needs to be outgoing and sociable.
Control Yourself
Shyness might be causing you to miss out on some opportunities. You can’t live in your shell forever. So, when you think you’re missing opportunities, you should start acting and eliminate the barriers. First, you need to believe that you can overcome this situation rather than just accepting it. Starting to control yourself is the first step. Psychologist Artest Battler, renowned for his “Eternal Happiness” project in the USA, has helped many women overcome issues of shyness, hesitance, and lack of confidence. According to Battler, shyness is not an insurmountable problem.
Investigate the Cause
As Battler points out, many women in the USA face the problem of shyness. The first step is to identify the root cause of shyness, which can only be done through discussion. Battler’s sessions and methods have achieved a high success rate of 85% in treating his patients. For individuals who are shy or embarrassed in social settings, Artest Battler offers some valuable advice. Here are the suggestions from the American expert psychologist!
Get Rid of Unnecessary Thoughts!
Living with shyness is hard. Don’t let the fear of being embarrassed or rejected by others, or feeling inadequate, discourage you. A shy woman constantly burdens herself with negative thoughts.
“Woe is me! If I talk more, everyone will think I’m stupid.”
“What if they think I’m ‘dumb’?”
“What if I can’t find anything sensible to say?”
“What if I make a mistake or say something silly?”
“My voice sounds so bad when I start talking.”
“My hair looks ugly.”
“If I could just get out of here.”
“The audience is bored; they must think I’m boring now.”
All these sentences are our inner voice, and there are thousands more.
Talk About Your Problem Extensively
Psychologist Battler’s research shows that the best way to solve a problem is to talk about it extensively without getting bored. Discuss the topics that make you feel shy frequently with your friends or spouse, and express yourself. However, never forget that these problems are not as significant as you make them out to be in your mind. For instance, if entering a new environment makes you shy, don’t be afraid. Enter new settings with your spouse and loved ones. You can start by accepting dinner invitations from friends you’re not very close with. If you really want to, your shyness issue will disappear shortly.
Ask for Help from a Friend
If you feel too shy to meet new people, you can seek help from a friend who is more social and outgoing than you. By meeting through them, you solve the problem. However, instead of having them introduce you with exaggerated and flattering phrases, you can ask them to mention qualities about you that even you might not have noticed. Friends are for tough times. Next time, you can introduce your friend to someone new. This way, you can easily communicate with new people.
Highlight Your Differences
Shy women need to be a bit unconventional and original to catch the opposite sex’s attention initially. Highlight a trait that sets you apart from all other women in the crowd. What you bring out depends entirely on your personal skills. It may seem difficult at first, but remember, it’s time to overcome your shyness. Don’t let obstacles deter you.
Make the Right Move
You want to chat with someone, but your shyness prevents you from starting the conversation, and you don’t know what to say. The quickest way to solve this situation is to ask the other person questions. Start with general questions and then ask more interesting questions about them. However, be careful because you should ask a right mix of personal and general questions. Your questions should make sense. Based on their response, you can share your views on the same topic and continue the conversation.
When you find yourself caught between wanting to chat with someone and your shyness, immediately ask the person a question. But be careful not to ask something silly. It’s better to ask a question that gets them talking, so the conversation doesn’t stall. You can extend the conversation intelligently by giving your answer to the same question after their response. You can easily do this because it’s not impossible.
